my so-called life

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt-

Friday, July 22, 2005

on being a mom...

i woke up pretty early today because of my baby boy..
sometimes when i'm taking care of my baby, it hits this is how being a mother is..
i look back and remember what my mom used to say.. i will only realize how it feels to be a parent only when i become one myself..

being a mommy is ..well.. it's a lot like love.. i really can't explain it..
the joy of having your own baby.. waking up at the sight of my little boy smiling at me always makes me feel grateful to be alive.. however,, waking up because of his crying.. well.. poses a challenge to my patience everytime.. the number one thing i have learned in the short time that i am a mom is that being a parent would require all the patience in the world.. especially during nights that you would like to sleep soundly but your baby seems to think otherwise..

another thing i have learned is to budget my time.
since i do not want to have a nanny and my john has to go to work.. i have to do almost everything by myself.. the timing of chores and all the other stuff that need to be done is a very big part of my daily routine..

so far.. these two.. 'skills' are the only things that i have developed.. hehe..

i love being a mommy inspite of the stretch marks and the sleepless nights .. it's all worth it..

Thursday, July 21, 2005

cliche of the day

if there's a will, there's a way..
i often hear this line from so many people but it is true!!!
wala lang.. if you really think about it.. cliches come to be because they are true... oh well..

this day seems to be ending on a pretty good light..hehe..
my little joshua is with kuya norman right now (my cousin).. it's a good thing he is here..
he always helps me out in taking care of joshua.. since my lovey needs to rest because he is in the graveyard shift..
that's pretty much it for today..

last but not least.. i am glad because i will be able to sleep soundly tonight..
no worries...
happy again..

love, love, love....

i hope i made the right decision... we're talking again
and yes,, i have learned to let go and give in...
everything is pretty back to normal.
second chance, benefit of the doubt, whatever you call it..
it seems that it is worth giving to someone you love..

totoo nga.. love conquers all..hahahaha!!!!!!!

believe in the power of love... hehehe!!!!!!

parang gusto ko gumulong sa kakatawa!!!!

love.. yes.. it is a trivial i woudn't go on and talk about it.. hehe

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

dazed and confused

  • i woke up at 2am today.. haven't had a chance to sleep again since then..
  • the cabinets that we need are already being assembled
  • he greeted me when he got home.

i can't bring myself to look at him without anger, without doubt, without a feeling of hopelessness and loathing and regret.. these feelings hit me all at the same time...

yes.. it is very confusing...
confusing seems to be the word of the day..
i can say that the perfect word to describe me today would be CONFUSED.

what a life..

i still don't know what to do..
it has been five days already..
i can't sleep well..
i can't eat well also..

what a life...

confusion seems to flood my mind..
doubts never leave my consciousness..
trust.. it seems has gone into hiding...

what a life..

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

i have decided...

after reading some of my emails today,..
i learned that we should accept people for what they are...
all we need to do is to continually look for the good in people.. and everything will be okay...
i hope..

i have seen the light..
i will let myself go
another chance it is...

bahala na si batman...


my life for the past three days has been drenched with rain.
a feeling of despair is welling up inside of me.
every time i think about it i just want to cry
a feeling of misery prevails
you know the feeling when you fall in love...
everytime you see the person..even if it's only in your mind...
something inside you melts.. and you just smile
something we can't explain..
right now.. i feel exactly oppposite way....
everytime i think of what's happening.. something inside me melts.. but then after.. i feel tears in my eyes..
there seems to be an emptiness inside of me that makes my stomach lurch...
an emptiness that makes me feel sad..
misery engulfs my whole being..

my first posting

The past few days have been some of the worst days of my life... i can't help but wonder why this is happening to me... i didn't do anything wrong. why did i end up getting shit like this. it's so not right.. it's a good thing we're going back to living in our house.. at least i have someone else to talk and i have more freedom to do stuff... i can't help thinking if this will ever end.. i can't imagine i would be in such misery... i have always been an optimist.. but this time.. i just don't know what to think of things and what to do

Monday, July 18, 2005

good old days.. Posted by Picasa


Your Seduction Style: The Coquette
You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get.Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you.Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you compelte.And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you.

What Is Your Seduction Style?